Don't criticize
Criticism is useless: it puts the other person on the defensive and forces them to justify themselves. It wounds their pride and breeds nothing but resentment. Rather than condemning, Carnegie invites us to understand other people's reasons. Offer honest and sincere appreciation instead, because everyone feels a deep need to feel important and recognized. This kind of goodwill defuses tension and opens hearts.
You don't attract bees with vinegar: kindness opens what criticism closes.
Take an interest in others
To be liked, stop trying to get people interested in you: take a sincere interest in them. Smile, because a smile says you're happy to see them. Remember each person's name, the sweetest and most important sound to their ears. Above all, know how to listen and encourage the other person to talk about themselves: you'll come across as an excellent conversationalist while barely saying a word.
You make more friends by being interested in others than by trying to get them interested in you.
Win people over to your side
The only way to win an argument is to avoid it. To win someone over, start by seeing things from their point of view and respect their opinions. Never tell someone they're wrong. Lead them to discover the solution themselves, as if the idea were their own. Above all, make them feel important: it's the deepest craving of human nature, and satisfying it gives rise to cooperation.
Make the other person feel important, and they will follow you of their own free will.
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